What I Learnt Today

“A country’s cuisine exists in the memories of their people and in those who have passed along their food knowledge and wisdom for centuries.”

So says the Acadameia Barilla of Parma, dedicated to the art of Italian gastronomy.

The Academia has recently handed down the Ten Commandments of Italian Cooking. Mea Culpa. At various times, it appears, I have broken most of them.

I’ve checked the following with my friend Rinaldo. He was horrified to think anyone would not find these self evident.

You Shall Not Have Cappuccino after breakfast

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Espresso yes, Cappuccino no. And even then never during a meal.

Risotto and pasta are not a side dish.

Pasta is a course in its own right, and not served with other courses.

You shall not add oil to the water when cooking pasta!

Oil should not be added to pasta cooking water! Rinaldo could not believe anyone would consider doing this. Oil must be added only after you have drained it from its cooking water.
The Acadamia has instructions on how to cook pasta like an Italian.

Its tagliatelle bolognese, not spaghetti.

In real Italian cuisine the pairing of the right kind of pasta with the right sauce is considered almost sacred.

You Shall not Serve Chicken Pasta

In Italy there are no hot dishes featuring pasta and chicken.

Real Italian restaurants don’t do the chequered tablecloth thing.

Chequered Tablecloths indicate the restaurant is targeting tourists. You have been warned.

You shall not add Ketchup to pasta

At least I am innocent of this crime against cuisine,

Thou Shall do what Mama does

As the Acadamia says

She knows from her mamma, who knew from her mamma who knew from her mamma and so on. It’s been tried and tested. And what a mother teaches at her daughter while they are cooking? That love is the center of all. We must share Italian food with your loved ones. It is what life, love and family are all about.

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This blog has been on sabbatical for the last few months while we moved to a new server.

During this time, I have turned plentysomething.

I know this, as I can identify with the plentysomething characteristics as outlined by Richard Glover.

Are you plenty something?

• Plentysomethings can no longer read the menu in any Sydney restaurant. This is because the lighting is turned down to a level so dim you feel as if you’re dining in some sort of al-Qaeda cave. The aim, presumably, is to hide the tomato sauce stains on the waiter’s apron. Perhaps they also realise the phrase “served with a decadent sorrel sauce made in the traditional artisan manner” looks less ridiculous if rendered in eight point. Operating in this Stygian gloom, most of us just point to the third dish down and hope for the best. This is the reason we end up eating so much offal.
• Plentysomethings know to buy the second-cheapest of everything, except when it comes to shoes.
• Plentysomethings can no longer hear anything that’s said in any Sydney restaurant. That’s because they’ve ripped out all the curtains and floor coverings so the whole thing is like an echoey box. Every dining experience is spent like a startled meerkat, sitting bolt-upright and alert just in case you manage to catch a passing word from someone at your table, from which – using your massive and experienced brain – you can usually reassemble the whole conversation. Lucky, huh?
• Plentysomethings do not understand the whole bottled water thing. We come from a time in which people would commonly attempt a 20-minute walk in the park without needing to take the sort of water supplies usually associated with Rommel’s North African campaign. It seems remarkable to say so, but in 2003 and 2004, human beings could often go for a whole hour, maybe even two, without what is now called “rehydration”. On Sydney’s more popular walking tracks, people now take a sip from their multiple bottles every three or four steps. What’s going on? Have they left a valve open? Could it be that, in the past six or seven years, the human race has sprung some sort of leak?
• Plentysomethings know that a coffee past 10pm is not worth it.
• Plentysomethings, by and large, are not dogmatic in their thinking. They have been around long enough to have heard both sides of most arguments. I myself hold three mutually contradictory opinions on the burqa, which, I believe, is merely a sign I’ve been paying attention.

See Richard’s full list of the other plentysomething traits.

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